Excited, Excited, Scared, Excited, Nervous, Happy

Lots of emotions floating around these days....i can't believe my time here in Thailand is coming to a close. it's such a bittersweet feeling and i will miss everyone here so much. however, there are lots of things happening in my life that compell me to believe that moving back now is the right time.

the most important reason i want to move back is to spend more time with family. if you don't know, my grandmother has been sick with breast cancer and is going through radiation right now. i really want to spend time with her and help her to get feeling better so she'll be ready to party at our wedding in the states next year. oh yeah, we picked a date for that one...may 21st, 2011 so get ready for some mad festivities!!!

also, i'm feeling a bit bored, complacent at my job right now and i just don't have the feeling that i'm moving forward in my career. my teaching at yonok is fun and comfortable but i don't really feel that i'm pushing myself to be the best teacher i can be. i feel completely cut off from the academic world (which can be good) but am also excited to get back to interacting with other academics, learning about new teaching methods and theories, doing more professional development. i often worry about getting a job when i get back. it's such a scary situation we are jumping into with neither one of us having employment lined up. i'm also at a point where i'm thinking that i want to teach so that it has an impact. i hope i can work with underprivileged people, refugees, nontraditional students. i want to work with people who are excited to learn and understand the value of education.

i've been so overwhelmed the past few weeks when i start thinking about everything that needs to get done before we move back. luckily, i'm trying to accomplish a little bit everyday so that i won't feel super-stressed in may. i feel so blessed to have this time off work to be able to concentrate on it all. i still go into yonok everyday and have lunch with nadine. it's so wonderful to be able to spend time with her chatting everyday before we leave. she has been one of my best friends here and she and her husband are getting ready to have their first child. i'm so happy i get to be here through her pregnancy. unfortunately, we won't be here when the baby is born...it's due on may 15 and our wedding is on may 22 so we'll be getting ready in ubon. this has been a hard time for both of us....we both feel really disappointed that we'll miss each other's life-changing experiences but i think we're both trying to stay positive about it. plus, nadine and la are planning to move back to the states sometime in the near future so we'll be able to visit them in boston.

last weekend i hosted a baby shower for them. it was my first time but i think i pulled it off well considering that most of the thai women who attended had no idea what a baby shower was! also, our british friends didn't really know either which means it must be such an american thing to do. we played lots of games, opened gifts, ate tons and food and had a great time just talking all together. i think everyone loved having that woman time with each other. otto and la were there though they mostly hung out on the front porch. overall, it was a success and most importantly it was a wonderful time that the parents will be able to look back on.

hope everyone is enjoying the spring weather! new growth is all around us...