Misconceptions

I have to clear the air. Nearly every day I receive a comment from someone in the states about how cool and exotic it is that I'm living in Thailand. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not spending my days here meditating on a golden chedi and sipping curry. I'm not living in the jungle fighting off poisonous snakes. And my life as a teacher is nothing like that of Anna in "The King and I." In fact, other than speaking Thai every day, attending various Buddhist services and getting frequent massages, my life here is pretty mundane.

I think it's easy for us to romanticize places we've never been. And though we hate to admit it, "orientalism" is still deeply ingrained in our culture. Even after living here, there are so many things about Thai culture that still remain entrenched in mystery. There are things I love about Thailand: the food (a given), the standard of living that I would never be able to pull off in the states, and the people (Mr. Chanyakorn most of all). But all of this is a trade-off. Along with all of these glorious benefits, I also have the daily frustrations of cultural miscommunications, complete lack of forward planning and a life without many of the modern conveniences I grew up with. And then there is the issue of living far away from almost everyone I love. Not a day goes by that I don't feel that separation. Though choosing the life of an expat was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, it's also been the best decision I've ever made. I don't expect people to understand this or even accept it, but I know that it's the right choice for my life at the moment. And I know that when I eventually move back to the states, I will return a better and more fulfilled person than when I left.

So my journey here is more about finding myself, finding how I rise to challenges and surprising myself than it is about living in some exotic country. And if I get to eat some amazing pad thai and have an orchid garden in the process, well those are just perks.