Playing House

Sometimes my life here is so surreal and strange that I feel like I'm just playing house. I keep thinking of my life back home as my "real life" and my life here as my pretend life. Maybe it's the Thai mentality rubbing off on me. I just feel like a little kid again and it's very refreshing. It could also be that being a foreigner gives one a certain amount of impunity. I think the Thais give us a lot of slack since we're "farang" and they assume that we don't understand their customs or language. It can sometimes feel like living outside a culture rather than joining a new one. It's a weird balance of trying to retain your own culture while negotiating a new culture, trying things out. I've discovered that I really appreciate some Thai customs like eating with a big spoon and fork, taking my shoes off before entering a house and putting ice in my beer.

As much as I'm excited by some Thai customs, there are just as many that I don't understand or that are frustrating. For example, today I had to go home and change my pants because I was wearing these red linen pants which I used to wear to teach in America. One of the teachers informed me that women should mostly wear skirts to work and if we wear pants, they have to be black. I was frustrated not because I thought my pants were nice but because I've been working at the school for two months and no one ever bothered to mention this dress code rule. I feel a little embarrassed that I've been wearing different colored pants all this time and never knew that this is not the custom. The thing that's been the most difficult for me is that there is no directness here. Speaking one's opinions and debating are seen as being forceful or difficult. It's especially considered unattractive for women to do these things as well as laughing or speaking loudly. I swear that I've scared the crap out of people before just from suddenly starting to laugh. They look at me like I'm crazy. Anyways, at school it's hard for me because I never know what's expected of me and I can only find out by asking millions of questions (which is equally annoying). So sorry to vent but today the culture shock hit me hard. Oh well, I chalk it up to cultural differences and my unusual fashion sense.

On the other hand, I am learning to appreciate so many little things in my life that would not be important to me at home...like being able to watch a movie in English, getting a bicycle and having my own kitchen to cook in. These are luxuries here. I suppose it's making me more grateful for simple things. Realizing that most of the world lives without basic amenities is very humbling. Yeah so before this gets too sappy I'm going to go for a bike ride. Yay! By the way, our bike is a Crocodile..very old school, royal blue, equipped with a bell and a basket and has two seats. I love it!