Officially Over

Today as I biked through the sweltering mid-day sun and now as I sit in this internet cafe that smells of sweaty pre-teen boys, I realize that I am officially over my honeymoon period with Thailand. I've sampled her curries and gawked at her golden temples but i'm no longer feeling that distinct sense of wonder. I have reached the comfort zone and it feels good. I feel like my life here has taken on a certain predictability though i'm definitely not bored by any means. It's nice to finally know my way around town, to easily be able to find things like tampons and to be able to read street signs in Thai. Yes, I can even crack jokes in Thai!

my job,too, has taken on a a nice schedule though all that could change in October. we are getting a new head of the english department and i'm not sure what's going to happen. lucky for me, contracts here are easily broken with little or no penalty. there are jobs aplenty for a girls with a masters in english here. but i really want to stay at yonok if i can. i love my students though they can be brutally honest sometimes. last week they told me i looked like a panda because i hadn't slept very well the night before. thai people are so polite yet very quick to tell you that you look fat, tired or sloppy in general. it appalled me at first but now i just smile and say, "kap koon kah" (thanks!) they call the freshmen students here "freshies" which still cracks me up. i'm glad to be in my sophomore year here. karen used to always tell us that Lampang is truly a home for her and that she always misses it when she goes away. i'm just now beginning to understand what she means. i have a life here. it's not like being a tourist...i have my market, my laundry lady (who still manages to tie-dye all my clothes) and my coffeeshop. i have a great group of friends and a nice set of extra-curricular activities....yoga, the band, potluck, trips to chiang mai.

of course, i still get pangs of homesickness and guilt over missing so many important things at home. i can't wait to get back to the states to spend time with my family and friends and to go back to school ( i miss it already!) at the same time, i worry about reverse culture shock and having to live in the fast-paced, fear-filled american culture after living in the sabai, mai-pen-rai thai culture.

mostly i can say that i'm sincerely happy these days and enjoying my long-term relationship with this country and this culture. i feel like i came here for a reason and that i'm actually accomplishing some goals. i wish for everyone that they could feel their dreams actualize. it's pretty powerful stuff!